Climbing Back Up to the Past

I'm now in my second week of cardiac rehab, and it's an interesting experience.

The first and most obvious thing about my thrice-weekly workouts is that I'm generally the only one in there who is under the age of 105. I'm also the only one in there who was bench-pressing 250 (on a machine) just three months ago.

That's part of the frustration I'm dealing with, post-heart attack.

I was on a roll when it comes to my fitness up until the end of May. That's when I moved back to Grandview and, unfortunately, stopped going to the gym because of time constraints.

Working out has been part of my lifestyle for most of my life. I've studied fitness, subscribed to the magazines and used a variety of exercise approaches. I've also had times where I got out of the habit and got out of shape...but have always been able to refocus, get back in the gym and get back in shape.

It's not that simple this time.

I've been shocked, repeatedly, at how tired I get now. It's frustrating. The doctors and nurses keep telling me I can make a "full recovery", but right now I feel like that's light years away. I'm doing a fraction of the cardio workout I was capable of just a few weeks ago.

And that "full recovery"? That's apparently not an absolute term. One of the nurses told me today that I'm not going to be able to go back to weight circuits and heavy lifting. I'm supposed to be content with cardio machines from here on out.

We'll see about that.

Even though I'm just two weeks removed from a serious heart attack, I'm already deciding what fitness and work and spiritual goals I should be setting for myself. I'm still eyeing that Insantity workout that I just received - we'll see how my recovery goes, but I'd call it a victory to complete that program within a year of my "cardiac event".

Serious as a...

"You are lucky."

Those three word are among the little I remember of Friday, July 27th. A nurse said that to me very matter-of-factly. I'll get to that shortly.

I keep meaning to blog more (more than once a year). I might have a reason to be on here regularly now. I have some surprising challenges ahead of me in the next several months. I turned the big 4-0 last December and it really wasn't a big deal to me.

Everyone tells me a look younger than I am and I'm in better shape than most guys my age. Up until the time the kids and I moved back to Grandview in late May, I was in the gym 4-6 times a week and was on pace to lose the extra weight I put on in 2010. I'd gotten up to about 230 pounds and was weighing in around 210 when we moved back home.

The last few months have been a mix of immense blessing and trials. Just a few days before moving, an accidental fire damaged the home we were moving from. No one was hurt, praise God, but there are ongoing issues regarding the insurance and finances.

Other than that, it's been a great time. I'm now the Program Director for KLJC and am half of the afternoon show team. I've also managed to get a part-time job as the News Director & radio anchor for Missouri News Horizon. MNH is a non-profit journalism organization that provides statewide news coverage to radio, tv and newspaper outlets around Missouri.

I get to keep my hand in news and work full time in Christian radio! My children get to go back to Blue Ridge Christian School and we've been able to resume attending Southland Baptist Church - our church family.

Things were settling into place better than I could have imagined. I was even ready to start Shaun T's Insanity home fitness program on Monday the 30th. I was ready to amp up my fitness routine and take on a new challenge.

Boy-oh-boy did I get one. Just not the challenge for which I planned. Back to that Friday I mentioned above.

I took my car in for an oil change and then walked over to a fast food place. Suddenly, I wasn't feeling well. Have you ever had that feeling? A lump in your throat when something's wrong or you're worried or have some other emotion. I'm talking about that physical feeling. Tightness, pain, dry throat, discomfort in your upper chest.

Crank that up by 10. That's what I felt for a few minutes.

Then, waves of pain shot through my chest and, at times, my shoulders.

I managed to get my car, pop a couple aspirin and drive home. By then, it felt like a red-hot vice was squeezing my chest and pain was shooting down my left arm at times. By now, it was hard to breathe.

I sent my brother, Chris, a nonsensical text. He called, came over and then took me to the E.R.

At  the ripe old age of 40, I was having a serious heart attack. I remember some of the E.R., the tests and then an ambulance ride to Research Medical Center but much of the day is fuzzy.

I remember waking up on a table in the room where I was being treated. I asked how much was left in whatever was happening and was told they just finished up. As I was being moved from the table to a stretcher/hospital bed, the nurse looked down and said very plainly "You are lucky."

I didn't know what that meant until everyone filled me in later that night and the next day: there was a 100% blockage of one of my heart's arteries. The doctors had put a stent in me in that room. Another blockage was still happening - 90% - but that would have to wait until Monday. It turns out that I was still having the heart attack during the procedure, so they didn't want to push my body that far.

So, I rested for a couple days and, instead of starting my Insanity workouts, I was having a second cardiac stent installed in my chest. I could barely walk to the bathroom.

It didn't make sense. I'm 40. I've never been a smoker, have a history of being an athlete but a bad family history on my dad's side of the family is what trumped when it came to my health. Lousy genes, basically, won out over weight room circuits and bench presses.

So, I have to decide where I go from here. I choose to deal with it as both a reality and as a new challenge to get past. God has a reason for things like this. I don't know what it is but He left me here to accomplish something still.

I'm amazed at how quickly I get winded and how physically weak I am, so there's a great deal of physical rehab to do. The doctor says I should, eventually, make a full recovery if I'm smart about my next several months.

I've also, because of this heart attack, been reminded of just how blessed I am. I see other parts of my life clearer.

My church family is checking on me each day and has provided meals and other help that's been, literally, a Godsend. If you aren't involved in a church that cares for people like mine, then send someone over to visit with us. We'll show you how it's done. Southland's people are eager to serve others.

Both of my jobs are giving me the time off needed to recover. My parents and brother stepped up to run errands and drive me around when needed. From grocery shopping to just getting things from the kitchen when I was too sore to get them myself for a few days, I've been very fortunate to have this much help. That is lucky.

Sometimes, God uses what we think are bad situations to enact His greater plan. It's easy to forget that and it's easy to wallow in self-pity. Easy, but wrong. Giving God the glory in ALL things is what we often say we want to do...when times are good. Keeping that same outlook when times are rough is harder, but still what we should want to do.

I don't know why I had a heart attack at a young age. I don't know why my personal goals are being delayed (or maybe derailed) by this. It might be to bring about a change in me. It might be so God can impact someone else through my situation.

I don't know and God doesn't owe me an explanation.

For now, I'll focus on 1) getting healthy, 2) getting back to work and 3) keeping my mind and heart open to any direction regarding how my ordeal should be used for God's glory.

Oh, and I'm not sending that Insanity workout box back just yet...

Let Me Reintroduce Myself To You

When I set this blog up a number of years ago, I really meant for it to be something I updated regularly. Really. I did.

I haven't had much chance to recreationally write lately. I do enjoy blogging and have tried my hand at it a couple times but tend to get busy and blogging just isn't the priority for me that it is for alot of other folks.

Anyway, here's an update with my thoughts on some of the things we've experienced in the last couple of years.

Our lives - by "our" I mean the kids' and mine - have changed dramatically. I took that job I referenced in late 2009. The kids and I moved to Columbia in January of 2010 where I went back into full-time radio, working for the Zimmer Radio Group as a news reporter.

In less than two months, the afternoon drive-time talk show host (Gary Nolan) left and I was moved into that role. It wasn't a new task, as I had been Gary's back-up for a couple of years but having a weekday, drive-time talk show has been both challenging and fun. "The Mike Ferguson Show" went on the air on February 22nd, 2010.

I kept anchoring KLCJ's news in both the mornings and afternoons for about a year. Budget cuts and consolidations resulted in that part-time endeavor ending in early 2011. I miss the work but don't mind the extra time (and sleep) at home.

The kids transferred from Blue Ridge Christian School in Kansas City to Christian Fellowship School in Columbia, which is a good school. It's been quite a transition for Austin (now 14) and Amber (now 12). CFS is more demanding, academically, overall but it's far less demanding doctrinally. That's not a slam against CFS so much as it is a reflection of the very liberal culture and mindset of Columbia, Missouri.

Columbia is a university town with all the good and all the bad that comes with that. The bad is I've seen a tremendous difference in the Christian community here when compared to the church family we moved from. The worship is less reverent here with more or less every church embracing the seeker-sensitive, Rock-n-Roll Jesus approach: throw on your ball cap, grab some cargo shorts from the bottom of the pile on the floor, crank up the guitars and wave your hands in the air like you just don't care...

That's not the Sunday morning church I grew up with.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy contemporary Christian music (much to my Dad's chagrin). I picked up Jeremy Camp's new album this weekend and love it! I just think there's a time and place for everything in the perspective of reverence and, to me, hopping up and down to a rock band is not reverence in God's house. In the car? Sure. When working out? Yep. When preparing to listen and meditate on a sermon? Ehhh....not so much.

I also like jazz and blues and the crooners like Sinatra and Martin and Bennett. Is their music "sinful". I don't think so but it's not right for church.

I'm used to breaking out the suit or sport jacket and tie. Doing that here makes you stick our like a sore thumb and, as a result, makes you a visual distraction. So, I'm slowly getting used to the casual attire - it still feels weird to dress down on Sundays. But that's not all of the challenge: the liberal mindset of this community has worked its way into the churches and, as with all seeker-sensitive churches, the Gospel and Biblical truth sometimes takes a backseat to "tolerance" and ecumenicalism.

Even this morning I heard an otherwise good sermon with a clear error in doctrine. It was a minor point of the sermon but part of Ephesians was misrepresented - with the more modern, politically-correct, liberal version of what God (through Paul's writing to the Ephesians) instructs for the Christian family winning out over, well, what God actually instructs for the Christian family.

I won't get into too much theology with this post but suffice it to say we're being challenged spiritually here. After almost a year and a half, the kids and I are still unable to find a really strong church. I've greatly prefer a Baptist church but, so far, every one we've visited is just as watered-down in some way as the others, so we're looking at non-denominational churches as well.

Maybe that's the challenge. It pains me to type this, but God isn't Baptist. In fact, I'm pretty sure He doesn't care what the lettering is on the outside of the church building you attend. Denominations are man-made; I just believe conservative, fundamental Baptist churches generally have the most accurate reading of the Bible and the strongest teachings.

We will settle in somewhere and it will likely be very different from that which we are accustomed.

The challenge is that we've (especially me) been drop-kicked out of our comfort zone in so many ways with this move. We have to be more discerning when it comes to what we hear from both the classroom and the pulpit, for instance. My personal homework load has gone up as a result, which is not a bad thing. I wasn't spending enough time in devotions before the move, anyway.

But still, hearing incorrect things was been a serious source of frustration for me for several months and, then, I got to thinking: maybe, just maybe, God knew what He was doing when he sent us here...

I've had to start separating the "must haves" when it comes to finding a church from the "nice to haves".

Hmmm...that means I should (gulp) stop complaining and start listening more. Maybe there's something I'm supposed to learn here from an unexpected source - someone I may instinctively think is unqualified to teach or something that's unconventional in my eyes.

I still have no idea why this is where we are supposed to be right now. I do believe it is where we are supposed to be. I don't know for how long, but that's not for me to decide.

How often to update this blog, on the other hand, is up to me and I'll try to do better at that.

Home, Sweet Home...for now?

The recession has impacted most everyone in America over the past couple of years but particularly in the past twelve months. Blame whom you want - George W. Bush or Barack Obama - but it is bad out there in the job market.

My kids and I are no exception to being impacted. We're feeling the financial sting just like everyone else. Personally, I don't buy into the claim for a minute that the country's economy has "turned the corner" toward recovery.

That has me in the position to make some possibly life-changing decisions very soon. Life-changing for me and for Austin and Amber. There is so much to consider right now: money, job security, education, social support and networks and, of course, God's plan for me and the kids right now.

In one of those good news-bad news situations, I expect to receive a job offer next week. A good one.

That's the good news...that, and it is also a job I would thoroughly enjoy and be very good at. It is the kind of work that drives me, that I have a passion for and would want to get out of bed to go to each day.

The bad news: it is not in Grandview (or the Kansas City area). It would require the kids and I to move at some point in the near future.

I can't really say much more about it right now for business reasons.


There is so much to consider.

I read an article on CNN.com earlier this week that put the jobless situation in a different perspective. When you consider all the people in our country who are looking for full-time work and compare that to the number of full-time jobs that are available right now, it is - statistically - just as hard to get into Harvard (8% of applicants) as it is to find a full-time, permanent job in America right now.

Whoa. Mentally chew on that for a minute.

I am working two part-time jobs right now and getting some short-term (some would call it contract) work on occasion. It is tough but I am, frankly, blessed to have that much work at the moment. Many others have nothing and are seemingly losing everything. My budget is very tight but there always seems to be just enough provision to get by.

I have been looking for full-time work since the presidential campaign ended over a year ago (I worked for one of the campaigns in a high-level, but low-paying role). The campaign job was a step down financially, so my income has drastically changed since I left the corporate world over a year and a half ago.

The strange thing is: I've been personally happier even though I'm making only a portion of what I have made in corporate salary in the past. Sure, I'm frustrated with not having any nibbles on my resume week after week. However, I get to work from home most of the time and have missed very few of my kids' events.

I'm in elected office and thoroughly enjoy it. Being an Alderman is intellectually challenging, tests your resolve on occasion and is a constant education. I love it. I appreciate the challenge of contributing to solutions, even when the problems are serious.

Austin and Amber have only been in one school since they day each entered kindergarten. The people of the school - faculty, staff and other parents - have watched my kids grow up, watched me go through a divorce and were a tremendous help most anytime I needed it after getting custody of the kids.

Blue Ridge Christian has been very good to me and , more importantly, to Austin and Amber (although Austin would argue that assertion whenever he's assigned math homework that includes story problems). It has been a rock of stability and a good influence on them.

My want is for them to finish school at Blue Ridge Christian School. I know that is what they want, too.

We are also in a church that is ideal for us. Southland Baptist Church in Belton, Missouri is not too big, not too small and has an active youth group that Austin benefits from. The AWANA program is unusually large for a church our size and something Amber really likes. The church is also another wonderful source of high-quality people who have stepped up over the years to help me when I've needed it.

Oh, and by the way, it's doctrinally correct and provided excellent teaching.

My want is to stay right where I'm at, with my friends.

I have alot of great people and things right now, even if money is not among them. That could be called being in a comfort zone, I guess and it is scary to think that I may have to step outside of it in such a big way.

I know that, if we moved, Austin and Amber would make new friends at their new school. I did just that a couple of times when I was a kid. I also know that we would find another church, although I cannot imagine that we would find one as good as where we are now.

It's just nerve-racking when it comes down to pulling that proverbial trigger....facing that decision to uproot and start over.

Sometimes, it's easy to forget that we are not supposed to fear: The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe. (Prov. 29:25)

I catch myself with that doubt and fear sometimes. What is the right decision? Where should I go now? Where am I supposed to be? What is the best thing for Austin and Amber?

I have not figured out the answers to those questions yet.

The only thing I have figured out so far is that I'm not smart enough to figure it out. I know that I am not supposed to fear and the track record of having enough provision to meet my needs should be all the proof I need to have faith.

I don't know if this is the right approach, but what I've prayed and what I've told the kids to pray is for God to do one of two things: throw open the doors to this possible opportunity so wide that I can't help but fall through or slam the doors shut so hard I could not try it even if I wanted to.

Otherwise, I'm relying on just me to make a life-changing decision and I want to do much, much better than that.

Wherever we are, be it here in Grandview or somewhere else, I want to know we are in the right place. The rest may not always be easy, but it will be a good thing.

¿Se enviará en una fecha conmigo?

Routine things sometimes turn into unusual events.



After picking the kiddos up from their friends' house this afternoon, I really didn't feel like making anything for dinner* and decided to take them out to eat. Of course, given that things are financially tight right now, Taco Bell was an easy pick. It's nearby, it's tasty and - of course - it's cheap.



When we walk into the restaurant, we're caught off guard a little because the first thing we see is a couple having a candlelight dinner.



Did I mention we were at Taco Bell?



Obviously, the young man wanted to make an impression and make the evening memorable. He had a bottle of Mt. Dew on a bucket of ice (turns out Taco Bell was out of champagne), candles, nice plates on which to dine and wine glasses (obviously for the aforementioned Mt.Dew). The table was covered in a tablecloth. It didn't match the "89-cent Menu" window stickers that provided the backdrop but, hey, they had the nicest table in the joint.



He carefully poured refilled her glass when the Mt. Dew ran low. Very gentlemanly.



The cashier told me this was a first date. The guy set it up with them in advance. I don't know how it went for them, but it will be memorable either way.


I was tempted to laugh at them (well, him) but, then again, he actually had a date.


Actually, I think it was clever. I don't know these folks, but maybe they are suffering financially like millions of others and they found a way to have a date without spending alot of money.


Maybe they are college students and, like most people that age, are short on cash.


Maybe he just wanted to be different than the other guys. Either way, he seemed to be acting with a level of manners not always seen in today's young people and I have a feeling that will make more of an impression on the young lady than the Beef & Cheese Burrito.


For their sakes, I hope the faux-Mexican food that is Taco Bell's product doesn't make an impression at any point in the date...just sayin'....


Really, the more I think about it, there's really no downside for him in all this. Think about it: let's say the date tanks and they don't like each other at all. Big deal - he spent something like $8.46 on dinner. Also, the Grandview Taco Bell provides a bowl of after-quesadilla mints which will come in handy in case he gets himself a first date goodnight kiss.


Now, let's say things went well and they are the perfect match for one another. The expectations aren't set very high - the honeymoon could be at the Super 8 near Six Flags and he's not going to disappoint.


Genius! This guy is a genius I says!!!!



* "making anything for dinner" is a relative phrase. I can't cook worth a darn to start with, so my not cooking is nothing unusual. A typical "Mike recipe" is 1) Open Box 2) Lift Corner of Film to Vent 3) Microwave on High for Three Minutes...

Let me introduce myself to you...

First posts on a new blog are sometimes the toughest. Do they set the tone for the blog?

I don't know - I guess I'm not THAT tuned into the blogosphere. I do know that I have a number of little nooks and crannys on the web. For the most part, they relate to my work and/or political things in which I'm involved.

This blog, though, is going to me from me...not Mike the news reporter or Mike the elected official: it will be my thoughts on other aspects of real life. So, here's the basic introduction:

I'm a 37-year-old single Dad in Missouri. Right now I juggle two part-time jobs: being the morning news producer/anchor for KLJC (Calvary 88.5 FM in Kansas City) and being an elected Alderman (what most cities call City Councilman). I also do a fair share of work filling in for both the morning and afternoon drive-time talk show hosts on KSSZ (The Eagle 93.9 FM in Columbia, MO). I dabble in public relations work as well.

My children, Austin (13) and Amber (10), and I live in Grandview, Missouri. They attend Blue Ridge Christian School. The kids live with me 100% of the time.

This blog's name, "On Eagle's Wings", comes from my favorite Bible verse: Isaiah 40:31.

Faith, family, fitness, finance...that's more or less what I'll write about here. I'll save the politics and media stuff for other online places.

Hopefully, I'll connect with some new people and maybe make a few new friends. If nothing else, there might be something interesting that comes along here that you might enjoy.