...slowly. And in a way that frustrates me because patience is not among my best attributes.
Sometimes, honestly, it's not among any of them. Between my two jobs with two non-profit organizations, I work around 55 (and sometimes 60) hours a week. I like to get stuff done NOW and hate it when my time is wasted.
Sometimes, that helps keep things at work moving along and it's a good thing. Often, though, my impatience is simply...well...impatience and it's a character flaw.
Galatians 5: 22-23 (KJV) says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering [patience], gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law."
I'm not always fruitful when it comes to patience, which is why I was anxious on Monday when I went back into the cardiologist's office for a follow up exam. It's been about six months since I survived a major heart attack. It was time to find out how the recovery is going.
I wanted to be "fully recovered". Now. Right now.
All the medical professionals I've spoken with say a typical recovery is a year to 18 months. I don't care. I have stuff to do and want to put this behind me.
When I should have been happy with the report that was mostly good, I was frustrated with the news that there are some lingering problems when it comes to cholesterol. The doctor is happy with the progress in my weight loss. My blood pressure remains good and my heart sounded good, I'm told.
But, I'm not fully recovered yet. I'm still on the path to a full recovery, though. And, sometimes, instead of just being grateful for that, I get mired down in my impatience because I have a tendency to let my personal priorities slip into first place instead of waiting to find out what God's plan is.
Oooh...there's that word again: waiting. Ugh!
Matthew 6: 19-21 says "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."
Replace the word "treasure" with "priorities" - I don't think that takes the verses out of context - and you get a good reminder of what too many of us do too often: assume we know what's really important and assume that our priorities really should be our priorities.
I wrote several months ago that I know there's a reason for both 1) the heart attack happening and 2) my surviving what, medically speaking, I wasn't supposed to survive. I still believe that. I've had several people, both in person and through the radio station, tell me they've learned something from watching me go through this heart attack and recovery.
If I can be used to help someone else learn, that's great. I feel blessed to be in that position. It also appears that I have a few things to learn personally. Now. Right now. If there's something worth being impatient about, it's learning what God's teaching.
I go back to the cardiologist in three months. In the meantime, I've been cleared to increase my cardio workout intensity. The goal: drop another 10 - 15 pounds (I've already lost over 20). I still have the goal of completing the Insanity workout within a year of the heart attack.